The ‘Too Comfortable’ Stage in Any Relationship

Whether it’s just the occasional shag or a full blown relationship, there is an unspoken line drawn between what is acceptable and what is not when in the presence of your favourite member of the opposite sex. For example, you may not poo in your partner’s en suite if they can hear the plops. You may not eat with your mouth open or with your hands, pick your nose, scratch your bum or just generally relax in their company. Yet in any long term relationship, there comes a point where you both think ‘fuck it’, and embrace those qualities which you have kept coyly hidden up until now...

Farting

We all need to fart occasionally. At first, you hold them in with all the anal strength you can muster, but at some point you both know that one of you is going to laugh too hard or sneeze, and that when this dreaded moment arrives your relationship will never be the same again.

Going To the Loo on the Phone To/In Front of Each Other

Admittedly, a poo is a lot further into the deep dark abyss of the ‘too comfortable’ than a quick wee, yet nevertheless these moments mark the beginning of a new, not-so-exciting stage in your relationship, where the need to appear sexy in front of each other dissolves and is replaced with a more desperate need to share your toilet habits with your unlucky partner.

Offering to Squeeze Each Other’s Spots

Not as frequent, but it does happen. This is much, much further along the line than the farting barrier, and many couples may not even last long enough to reach this moment, but if you do you may aswell get married because you have undoubtedly reached the point of no return.

Being Closer to the Other Half’s Family than the Other Half Themselves

When you break up, you find yourself pining not for your ex, but for his or her mum, dad, baby brother or older sister. Bonding with the family reaches a new level when you and your lover start burping, farting, cursing and weeing in each other’s presence, as you find comfort in spending time with their family just as much as spending time with them.

These are just a few of those special moments which, whilst signifying the start of something beautiful, can also be very traumatic if one or both of the partners aren’t ready for them to happen (this is particularly an issue with farting, as the first time it happens it is usually an unfortunate accident). So reaching the ‘too comfortable’ stage around the same time is particularly important, in order to maintain a clearly already-successful relationship.  Any long lasting partnership is bound to cross some of these barriers at some point, and when that moment comes, the only advice is to be ready. So good luck to you all from the both of us, and I’d  just like to point out that we haven’t yet reached all these stages that I’ve listed, although we’re getting pretty bloody close.